lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
