thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
