waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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