Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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