the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
