I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
