Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
