Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
