That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
