I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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