drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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