im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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