I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Randomize
