it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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