I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
