uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
