So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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