Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
