Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
