and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
