he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
