My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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