I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
