Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
