okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
