would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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