well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
