No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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