i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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