You smell like stripper and shame
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
