I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
