I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
