just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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