I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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