She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize