I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
