Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
