Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize