6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
