I look better un-naked...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
