I showed him my bush... on skype.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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