Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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