ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
