Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
