it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
