You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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