they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
