im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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