so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
