hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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