Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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