no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
