i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
