I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
