Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I could make wine with my vomit
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
