No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
