Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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