ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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