Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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